W17D5.Friday.August 21st

The hormone demon is beating down my door - and has been since Tuesday. I have been strong and kept him at bay, but I am weakening as days pass. I almost lost it just now at work and tried to call on my support crew - yet no one was available - proudly I was able to help myself - by deverting my attention to decorating for Halloween. Like everything else in my world --- my expectations of what I can do are way beyond what will actually get accomplished but what fun is life without dreams?!?!?

I have felt great for the past week. I was able to accomplish a lot over the past weekend and got some rest during the week, just in case that was the reason for the increase in hormonal presence -obviously NOT. But it has helped me keep my wits about me.

I have had strange dreams and a couple evenings of uncomfortable sleep, but nothing major. I did notice Baby Dalbo when I went to ride the boogie board in the pool. Most of the week I had times where I actually forgot I was pregnant.

I think I have been feeling the baby - I know...THINK? Having birthed two children I feel like I should know. But the feelings aren't as I remember them. The butterfly movements, like I've been told I should be feeling. I don't. What I believe I am feeling is uterine contractions. Nothing painful, just a tightening and radial-like movement.

I haven't checked my weight this week, nor did I take any pictures. Heartburn has not bothered me hardly at all, and when it did it wasn't enough or went away quickly enough to not worry with taking any meds.

OH MY GOODNESS - I cannot believe I almost closed the post without recalling the horror I endured last night! I guess you call it constipation but I call it "I would rather give birth". It was terrible - I was on the pot for an hour and I would push and I would relax and I would stand up and I would move side to side - nothing helped - it just finally was "delivered" once it was ready. It was so much smaller than I imagined when it was in there - so not worth the agony and resulting tenderness. I told Joe when I got upstairs that I had been very close to calling him and having him do his best just to yank it out. He was thankful that I didn't make that request. Everything worked and went fine this morning, so I should be back on track. Thank God!